Sunday, June 18, 2006

Entry 30

"God, I hate you so much. I'm going to put a swarm of bees up your butt."

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Entry 29

"I will personally come over there with a weedwhacker and spray your internal organs around the room. BZZZZZZ!"

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Entry 28

"My mom thinks I'm disrespectful of women."

Friday, April 14, 2006

Entry 27

Me: "Let me have your easter egg. You won't even enjoy it anyway."
Him: "Yes I will- I'm going to shove this easter egg up your butt and then make you lay it."

"Kill yourself."

I can't even publish most of the things he says these days.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Entry 26

"Oh, my pretty little penis sleeve..."

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Entry 25

Upon finding a bug in my bed:
"I should spray Raid in your vagina. TTTTTSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!"

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Entry 24

"Open wide, here comes the pee!"

"Only if you promise to shave your mustache."